Manic Depression The Battle to Recover from My Fall Into The Void
The Slide Into Numbness
And so here I was, aimless and jobless, spending my days alone with my thoughts while I sat around the home. And believe me when I say that you will stop at nothing to calm your racing mind. At that point, the drinking began. A tiny bit here, a tiny bit there. Before long, I was doing more than just “taking the edge off” with a drink. I was drowning in it , really.
Alcohol has the trait of being a clever bastard. It consumes you at first, numbing everything and leading you to believe that perhaps it is beneficial. However, it doesn’t take long for the cracks to become visible. Most days, I was sitting there attempting to ignore things while intoxicated. However, something else soon got inside. Something far worse than the silence.
The Voices
Something far worse. The first time I heard the voices, I thought it was just the booze talking. I told myself, “You’re drunk, you’re stressed, this isn’t real.” But the voices kept coming back, louder each time, more vicious. And the fucked-up part? It was the voices of my own kids. My heart dropped the…
